The Thoughts In Our Heads

• Ryan: I wonder who really wants people to know they live in Pflugerville? Like why put the "Pf" sticker on your car?
• Lexi: Because it's cool. I'd put it on the car if I had one.
• Ryan: When did they become popular? I feel like it was started with one sticker....what was it? To show where you visited on vacation?
• Lexi: Outer Banks. OBX.
• Ryan: Right! I mean everyone knew it was the Outer Banks.
• Lexi: I had no idea what OBX meant.
• Ryan: Alright, WHITE PEOPLE knew it meant Outer Banks.

• Lexi: If you could be any dinosaur, which one would you have been?
• Ryan: Hmm....let me think....I'd be a velociraptor.
• Lexi: Why?
• Ryan: Because I'd be fast, and I could hide quickly from predators. Plus raptors were smart man.
• Lexi: Aww....I knew we were meant to be together.
• Ryan: Why? You'd be a velociraptor too?
• Lexi: (with a tear in her eye) Yes. Of course. This is true love right here.

While driving home yesterday, Ryan and I heard on the radio that the NYC Department of Education had a list of 50 words (and ideas) that they’d like to ban from city-issued standardized tests. The list was a bit ridic. One of the words was “dinosaur” because it has the potential to “call to mind evolution, which might upset fundamentalists.” Really…..dinosaurs?

So Ryan said that it might upset some kids or people who think the dinosaurs are going to make a return. I told him that I was one of those people (I know it’s an irrational fear, but since humans are growing things in laboratories that we don’t know about….I mean….who knows. It’ll be Gremlins and Jurassic Park all over this bitch). He then of course laughed at me and I told him to take it seriously. What would really happen if they came back? Would we be prepared to fight them off? I mentioned that we should come up with a dinosaur survival kit for our house. You know…in the off chance that we wake up to a T-Rex eye in our window.

The kit would include but would not be limited to:

• A flashlight (because it’s a part of all emergency kits)
• Band-aids (in case a raptor bites you)
• Dog treats (for a fast getaway; also if you get the treats that you can stick pills in, you can place mini explosives in them or poison)
• A wooden board or camouflage (because a T-Rex senses movement, you have to be able to hide properly)
• Rope (to lasso them up and pretend you’re a cowboy)
• A fork (to eat your stash of powdered food, assuming an “I Am Legend” kind of apocalypse was happening)
• Air Force One (because who wouldn’t want to have access to the President’s plane in this time of distress)

If you are interested in investing in this potentially profitable product, let me know. Because anything is possible. And I really don’t want to die by dinosaur.

• "Cotton Eyed Joe" starts playing on our satellite radio in the car....
• Ryan: Do you know what happens when "Cotton Eyed Joe" comes on at a high school filled with white people?
• Lexi: A riot?
• Ryan: HA! No, arms go flailing and people gather around in a circle. Then the one kid who can actually dance, but really it's a stretch, gets in the middle and gets cheered on. Lots of kicking too.
• Lexi: Okay, well if a black person walked by this and saw a bunch of white people in a circle with arms and legs flailing, we're going to think one thing: Riot. And someone is most likely getting sacrificed.

I emailed Ryan a little information I found on Wikipedia about Bubble Guppies (the new Losch baby craze)….It was how it’s slightly unrealistic, what with airports underwater and all….

From: Losch, Ryan 
Sent: Monday, March 19, 2012 10:37 AM
To: Losch, Alexis J
Subject: RE: Monday Smiles

 Ha…that’s awesome.  I mean, it is a kids show though.  I’m not sure I’d be too worried about Jovie believing planes are going to fly fish-people around underwater.  She’ll believe that as long as she still believes in unicorns and the New York Knicks! (zzzing :-))

From: Losch, Alexis J
Sent: Monday, March 19, 2012 10:40 AM
To: Losch, Ryan
Subject: RE: Monday Smiles

 You my friend………

Shut yer hole. She also believed in the Bears and look who won the Super Bowl.

From: Losch, Ryan [mailto:Ryan.Losch@parsons.com]
Sent: Monday, March 19, 2012 10:42 AM
To: Losch, Alexis J
Subject: RE: Monday Smiles

Touche…

Two of Lexi’s favorite things ::swoon::

trextrying:

T-Rex Trying to Spin the Wheel on The Price is Right…

#TRexTrying

Yes I teach architecture. Yes I work in architecture. No I’m not Ted Mosby. And no, nothing about Ted Mosby’s life resembles the life of an architect except the excessive drinking.

-Ryan

Another email exchange between Ryan and I:

From: Losch, Ryan 
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 1:56 PM
To: Losch, Alexis J
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

Quick Pick:

     vs.  

Gisele                                                Gazelle

From: Losch, Alexis J 
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:02 PM
To: Losch, Ryan
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

Gazelle. Hands down. Here’s why:

1)      While both may be graceful, coordinating 4 legs instead of 2 is MUCH harder.

2)      Gazelle doesn’t have to work hard to stay tan, it’s pretty automatic due to fur.

3)      Gazelle has a cuter tail.

4)      Gazelle doesn’t trash talk her baby daddy’s friends when their backs are turned after just losing an animal kingdom fight.

From: Losch, Ryan
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:04 PM
To: Losch, Alexis J
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

Wise decision.  I concur, though I’m sure Tommy B. likes Gisele’s tail 

From: Losch, Alexis J
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:05 PM
To: Losch, Ryan
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

I’m sure a lot of dudes like Gisele’s tail.

5) Gazelles eventually wean their babies.

From: Losch, Ryan
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:05 PM
To: Losch, Alexis J
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

HA…good point. 

From: Losch, Alexis J
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2012 2:14 PM
To: Losch, Ryan
Subject: RE: Sweet Lord

6) A gazelle has a fighting chance against a mountain lion.

This about made my day…. Also shared with Ryan and the rest of the world…

trextrying:

T-Rex Trying To Work at The Airport…

#TRexTrying

This is what happens when you ask us to donate money at IHOP and Ryan gives me the marker to write our names in the box…..